


Burned Walls

by WhoaaKayy



Category: Covert Affairs
Genre: F/M, Love talk, Protective friend, Southbound Suarez
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-29
Updated: 2012-02-29
Packaged: 2017-10-31 22:29:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/349006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhoaaKayy/pseuds/WhoaaKayy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How long has it been since what, he asked himself. How long has it been since he saw the sunset? Four years. How long has it been since he found himself determined to knock down every one of those walls guarding her precious heart? Twenty minutes, maybe.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Burned Walls

"Don't try to reason with love." Julia warned, a hint of self-wizened defiance seeping into her voice.

"Then don't get burned by it—" Annie tried to challenge when she was abruptly cut off.

"Why, because it happened to you?"

Annie opened her mouth, clinging to her independent strength as tightly as she could, and found nothing came out. She tried again, faltering in herself, only to have images of Ben and Sri-Lanka swim before her eyes. She closed her mouth and stared at Julia, surrendering her sword in this small battle against the war of Love. The woman had won this round, no matter how thick-headed she was being.

"I see," Julia said finally. She smiled cruelly, like she was suddenly looking down at the most pathetic excuse for a woman she had ever seen and enjoying it. As if the prime example for why she wasn't readily agreeing to go through with this was standing right in front of her and everyone in the room should know it.

And just for a split second, as she withered under Julia's condescending glare, she felt that she was.

"And now you are a woman with walls."

 

\----

 

Auggie stared into nothingness, lost in thought. The two women's exchange replayed itself over and over again in his head, their voices searing like the burning words that were branding themselves on his mind. He was never going to let Annie go undercover, thousands of miles away from him and the Agency, alone. Sure, she had her encrypted phone, but if she expected that to be her only link to them she might as well just do this operation without it. That stupid chunk of technology wasn't what was keeping her safe, it was the earrings he had so surreptitiously bugged while she was being debriefed in Joan's office.

No one had exactly asked him to do it, but he did it anyway. This was her first foreign op, and he'd be damned if he didn't completely cover her with every source of protection he had access to.

It was late, and he was the only one in the otherwise empty tech department. He didn't mind though, the pointless chatter that carried on around him throughout the day could be very distracting, and he needed all his concentration to listen to Annie try and persuade Julia...and stay awake.

_"Then don't get burned by it—"_

His ears rang with her hard words. She was so afraid, even though she wouldn't admit it, of the "bad side" of love. The pain, the self-inflicted torture, the grievance—she ran from it. Across the world she travelled, constantly looking over her shoulder out of mixed fear and hope. To want something so badly that was also your greatest fear, your greatest enemy, must have been such a difficult challenge for her, one that he could easily sympathize with. It was what led her to the Farm's doorstep, to be the first one in the group to jump out of airplanes and invited into Langley a whole month before training was over. It led a lot of frightened, heart-broken people here, wanting to change the world one love-sick individual at a time.

_"And now you are a woman with walls."_

How dare she? How dare that stoic, stubborn, _stupid_ woman treat Annie that way? He was _blind_ —not to mention a few thousand miles away—and even _he_ could see that all Annie was trying to do was ensure their safety. He didn't care that she was new and turning out to be the next hot-shot spy of the ops team—that was luck. All that really mattered was her persistence and her impossibly strong will to help others: people she didn't even know and would probably never see again. _That's_ what really made her an exceptional agent. She didn't care about the money or the rankings, it was her ability to feel compassion that was going to keep her striving to succeed.

He was pondering on her shoebox method, wondering absently if it really worked when Joan approached him.

"How long has it been?"

How long has it been since what, he asked himself. How long has it been since he saw the sunset? Four years. How long has it been since he'd been fighting off gruesome images of Annie's broken body, laying pitifully at the feet of a manically laughing Victor? Around two days, come midnight. How long has it been since he found himself suddenly determined to knock down each and every one of those hard walls guarding her precious heart? Twenty minutes, maybe.

He pinched the bridge of his nose and rubbed his tired eyes, sighing. "About three hours."

He personally didn't feel like talking to Joan. She had gotten in the mood of mothering him, something he had always hated. He was perfectly capable of doing small field work jobs, like surveillance in the middle of the park on a sunny, Sunday afternoon. He couldn't very well tail the guy, but point him in the right direction and he could play sitting duck for a few hours. At least Joan wouldn't have to use a more... _competent_ agent to do a newbie's work. But no, if it were up to her he would probably never leave the building.

She put her hand on his shoulder and sighed. "It's the toughest thing we do: convincing people to let go of their lives." He felt her squeeze his shoulder meaningfully, rubbing her thumb in comforting circles over his blade. "Even when they don't have a choice."

He subconsciously relaxed into the calming ministrations, shaking himself roughly when he realized she had walked back to her office. Annie and Venezuela was silent, and the office surrounding him was all but dead. This day just needed to be over. He wanted to go home and get away from here; clear his head.

"Do you want me to drive you home?" He heard Joan ask from her office, reading his mind. He nodded and ran his hands over his face, knowing she was looking at him. "Are you sure you don't want to stay and see if Annie says something else about her love life that she hasn't told you yet?"

Auggie turned in his chair to stare at her, dumbfounded. He heard her chuckle and ruffle a few papers. "You think you were the best? Remember who taught you once upon a time."

"I _am_ the best," he corrected immediately. He felt her hard gaze pierce through him, reprimanding. He turned around, not needing another lecture on field work.

"You'll get through those walls eventually," Joan said softly, coming up behind him. She gave his cheek a stern, knowing pat. "But for now it's home, a nice cup of tea and your bed. She'll be back in a few days, and you need all the rest you can get."

He smiled despite himself, grasping her arm and allowing her to lead him to her car. He didn't comment on Arthur, or how she had taken a separate car to work. He didn't ask about their marriage or how their counseling was going (because, let's face it: the whole Agency is going to know when their sessions could be heard from the food court). He simply climbed into the luxurious car, leaned his head against the cool window, and let his mind rest.

Tomorrow was another day. A chance for a burn to heal, or a wall to crumble. A marriage could be saved, or a relationship might begin. The impossible could happen, or it could just carry on as any other normal day at the office.

There was even the hope, he thought as he smiled tiredly, to see a beautiful, shining smile—putting the sunset to shame.

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: don't own.
> 
> Originally posted at FF.net on July 30th, 2010.
> 
> Hauling everything over because I go on here more than FF.


End file.
